


pieces set to fall

by weatheredlaw



Series: all the way across the universe [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Aging, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Multi, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 15:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12323454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/pseuds/weatheredlaw
Summary: Taako says goodbye. And then he does it one more time. And one more time again.(eventually, he loses track)





	pieces set to fall

**Author's Note:**

> i saw a really wonderfully angsty piece of art by artist [janmenart](http://janmenart.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. that art is [here](http://janmenart.tumblr.com/post/166139962427/so-hey-elves-live-a-loooooooooong-time-huh) and it is quite lovely. it got me thinking about taako and how he'd have to say goodbye to his family again and again -- and eventually, be the one someone says goodbye to. but i guess it's not so bad whenever everyone you have left works full time in the ethereal plane. getting there's just the hard part. (i made myself cry about five times writing this, not sure if it'll evoke the same emotions in you, but enjoy anyway!)

_Colors fade away and_  
_Things that were aren't here today_  
_But time it doesn't matter anymore_  
_I'll meet you where we were before_

 

* * *

 

_**magnus** _

Taako wanted to be able to say, later, that he was cool with it. That saying goodbye to a friend he spent a century and some hefty change with could be easy. After all, Magnus Burnsides had lived a _good_ life, in every sense of the word. He could not be called cruel or manipulative, could not be named in any crime or tragedy. It was weird, when someone asked Taako later what it felt like to be a hero, the first person he thought of was Magnus. _Magnus_ was just the hero type. And yeah, Taako considered himself your everyday savior and defender of the world – but when you said _hero_...well.

That was Magnus.

And so when it came time to bury him, as Angus and Lucretia set about having the proper rites carved on his tombstone, Taako only checked in to make sure they were doing one thing right –

“Just have it say hero, at least.”

Angus grinned through his tears. “Yeah,” he said. “I think that one's a sure thing.”

 

* * *

 

And yeah, he wanted to be cool about it. He wanted to say that it was just _easy._ But Magnus was bedridden the last month of his life. He was as happy as someone like him could be stuck in one place with nowhere to go. Angus was a bustle of activity that last month, making sure he was comfortable, making sure he was happy. Taako just cooked the food. They all practically moved into the house, just to say goodbye.

There was a particular evening when Taako was bringing Magnus dinner, and Magnus caught Taako by the wrist and said, “Tell Ango to go to sleep.”

Taako snorted. “Yeah, _alright._ ”

“I'm serious. Tell him to rest.” The hold on Taako's wrist was weak, but he let it remain. Magnus's hands were so familiar, their roughness and _boldness_ was something Taako admired. These hands made choices without hesitation and built homes without blueprints. They held an axe and a spear, but they also carried Angus McDonald to bed when he was a boy, and coaxed the knots from Taako's hair that cycle on the beach.

_These are the hands that held my wife._

Taako moved to hold that hand in his own. The man in this bed was his brother, and he was dying. And Taako was suddenly very _not_ cool with it.

“Yeah,” he said, suddenly desperate to get away, desperate to leave this room, where it seemed like death lingered, even though Taako knew perfectly well death was in the sitting room. “I'll, uh. I'll tell him.”

He slipped out as Angus went in, but Taako stopped him in the hall.

“After dinner, get some rest.”

“I'm doing okay--”

“Angus, _buddy._ You are _not_ doing okay.”

Angus made a face. “My dad is dying,” he said. “What do you want from me?”

“I want what he wants. That's all.”

Angus's expression fell. “...Got it.”

“Just...do dinner and then do the bedtime thing, alright? Don't make me carry you.”

“Like you could,” Angus teased, more than a head taller than Taako, now. “But I get it. I'll...I'll get some sleep.”

“Good.” Taako gave him an awkward shoulder pat. “Good talk.”

Angus nodded and went into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Taako stood in the hall, closing his eyes to enjoy _darkness_ for once. He felt a hand reach for him, cold, but comforting. “Are you alright?”

Taako turned and let himself fall into Kravitz, press his cheek to his chest and wrap his arms around his waist.

“Sure,” he said. “Never better.”

“Taako.”

“What do you want me to say, huh? That I'm, like, _sad_ Magnus is dying? That I'm distraught or something?” Kravitz raised a brow, and everything about his face was _too much_ right then. Taako felt something catch, and this careful dance he'd been doing on the knife's edge came to an abrupt end –

and he fell.

Kravitz took him down the hall, into their shared room. And behind the door, Taako felt his careful shell flake away.

“I know we cheated,” he said. “I know we shouldn't have gotten it, but that hundred years wasn't _enough._ It wasn't enough for me. Not to be with him, or to know him. I just...I just want more _time._ ”

“I can't give that to you.”

Taako nodded. “I know that. And it's selfish, I know that, too--”

“You're not selfish.”

Taako snorted. “It's _sometimes_ like you don't know me at all, honey.” He reached out and brushed the hair from Kravitz's face. “I am selfish, and that's okay.”

“It is an endearing quality,” Kravitz admitted. “But Magnus's time is soon. Merle's time will come, too. Davenport's and Lucretia's. And yours,” he murmured. Taako nodded. “Everything lives, and everything that lives _dies._ ”

“Except Barry and Lup.”

Kravitz sighed. “It is incredibly unfortunate that you know _both_ exceptions to my extremely poignant and meaningful speech about life and death.”

“Well, whaddya gonna do?”

“Kiss you,” Kravitz said, _easily_ , like it could just be done.

And, Taako knew, as he slid perfectly into place between this night and all the others – it could.

 

* * *

 

“Lunch time, big guy.”

“I'm feeling okay today,” Magnus said. He was propped up and looking, honestly, not too bad. Kravitz said he might, as he got closer. “I can feed myself.”

“If you say so--”

“At the table,” Magnus said. “I want to...I want to get up.”

Taako glanced behind him. Angus had needed to travel back to Lucas's academy for the day, angry about something with work and frustrated he had to leave Magnus behind. _I have my Stone, don't even think about not calling me if something happens._ Everyone else was gone, too. It was just Lucretia, reading in the living room, enjoying her very late retirement.

“You know, why the hell not.” Taako brought the food to the kitchen and came back to find Magnus fussing with his blankets. “Easy,” he said, “ _easy._ ”

“I can't lay in here anymore.”

Taako nodded. “I know,” he said, and he murmured something under his breath. “But you also really can't walk, so how 'bout we _levitate._ ”

“Oh, I like that!” Magnus wasn't magic's biggest fan, but he got giddy when it let him do silly things, just like he always had. They made their way to the kitchen and found Lucretia standing at the sink, filling a kettle. “Lu, look at this.”

“Very impressive, Magnus.” She set the kettle on the stove and waved her hand, turning on the burner. “Taako, I had some of the stew, it's quite good.”

“It's like I'm a professional or something,” he said, but there wasn't any malice in it. It had been years, and Magnus could never know how, or even understand the context of it, but Taako and Lucretia had eventually come to a sort of peace, achieved after a painful venture in fulfilling a promise made decades before. In the end, Taako rediscovered a sister, Lucretia let _go_ , and Kalen was dead. Magnus could never understand that last part, but he knew that they were better, and that's what mattered to him.

They sat together at the table, eating and talking, and it reminded Taako of the days on the Starblaster. They stayed like that for a long time, until Angus came back and found them. He wasn't even upset. He seemed relieved to find Magnus still living, and sat by him at the table as they ate. As the evening wore on the house was suddenly full again, and Magnus – well, Magnus was at his best when he was with everyone he loved.

Taako looked up, saw Lup and Barry, and behind them Kravitz. Kravitz looked at him, and he nodded.

And that's when Taako knew –

it was time to say goodbye.

 

* * *

 

In the end, it was easy. Magnus didn't suffer. He'd done that enough in life, Taako figured, so moving on to dying was probably pretty peaceful. Lucretia sat on one side of him, and Angus on the other. Taako sat next to Lucretia and felt her hand slip into his as he settled his own on Magnus's wrist, and felt that last familiar _thump_ of a pulse quietly fade.

Kravitz was gone, and everyone was very much aware that Magnus was, too.

 

* * *

 

They had a tombstone for Julia placed next to him. And Taako swore he'd be cool, he _promised_ he'd be cool –

but his brother died. And Taako felt tears stream down his cheeks as Merle stood by his side and wept openly. Taako reached down and took his hand, and Merle clung to him, his body wracked by great, heaving sobs.

“It's okay,” Taako said later, his cheeks still wet and shining. And he hugged Merle, grasped him in his arms and held onto the only one left of their little trio of misfits. “It's gonna be alright.

“We'll see him again soon.”

 

* * *

 

_**lucretia** _

It was true – the first year after the Hunger was defeated, Taako had a hard time dealing with Lucretia. Dealing mostly meant looking at her and talking to her and being spoken to by her. They were both painfully awkward around one another. Lucretia asked how his school was fairing, and Taako answered, “Great, thanks for asking.” Taako asked how the Bureau was doing and Lucretia said, “Quite well, thank you for asking.”

And that was it.

God, it drove Magnus crazy. And if he'd died and the two of them were still so cold, Taako knew his ass would have been _mad_ haunted. But as it so happened, Taako and Lucretia did not stay that way forever. It just took a little bit of a good old fashioned hunt to bring them closer.

After killing Kalen, after admitting what made him angry, and what made her afraid, things seemed to get better. It still took _time._ There were days when Taako wanted answers he knew Lucretia didn't have, and there were days when her shame was a letter on her chest – but neither allowed the other to go back to the way things were.

Taako had honestly expected Lucretia to pass before Magnus, but she stuck around a few more years. She lived in the house he'd built, but she was more mobile in her final months, and a bit more self-sufficient. Taako came to cook for her, and Merle came to read to her, as her eyes got worse. Davenport came just to be with her.

Taako would often catch them sitting on the front porch of the house, hands clasped together, as Merle read to them both. Sometimes it was just the two of them, and they sat side by side, speaking softly, or just looking out and down the hill Magnus had built the house on.

There were days when she was alone when Taako would make the trek up, and they moved quietly around one another, Lucretia inquiring about ingredients, Taako asking how she was enjoying whatever story Merle was reading to her. It was a peaceful life they lived, in a strange sort of tandem, always aware that something blighted their past, but always happy with the progress they'd made.

 

* * *

 

One particular night, Taako was alone, and it was raining. He felt his loneliness sharply, and all at once, and without thought he dressed and picked up his staff and tapped it twice – and wound up on the porch of the house. Lucretia was in the kitchen, listening to music, reheating soup on the stove. She turned when she heard him come in and smiled. “This is a nice surprise.”

“I'm alone,” he said simply, and she nodded, setting out another bowl. “Here, let me.”

“Oh, I'm fine.”

“No, really.” Taako gently pried the spoon from her hand and she agreed, settling at the table. “Is it weird here, without him?”

“Sometimes,” she said. “I think I'm getting a bit loose up here--” She tapped her temple. “But sometimes I think I can see him, you know? It's just a memory, just...just after years of watching him chop wood on the side of the house, or...or hearing him sing while he shaved.” Lucretia rubbed a hand over her cheek. “I miss him so _much_. And Angus comes, and we talk about him, but we also try to talk about other things. And I--” Her breath caught, and she gave a gentle sob.

Taako reached out and took her hand.

“I know what you mean.”

“I'm glad he's not here. I'm glad he's moved _on_ , if he lingered I think it would have been harder.”

“Kravitz said he's...he's good over there. That he found her.”

Lucretia looked up. “He did?” Taako nodded. “Oh.” She put a hand over her heart, and closed her eyes.

“ _Oh_.”

 

* * *

 

There was a beautiful ceremony, one fall morning, honoring the former Director. It was, first and foremost, an unveiling. The day of Story and Song lived forever in peoples' hearts – a statue of Johann stood in the center of the quad the very next year, and was meticulously maintained. Years of argument and discussion, debate and deliberations had led to a statue of the crew of the Starblaster being delayed. And besides, Magnus had always said, it wasn't just them.

As Lucretia stepped onto the stage that morning, Taako had no idea what to expect. But he was, as he _did_ expect to be, pleasantly surprised.

It looked like the photo that had once hung in Lucretia's office, but their little family had grown larger. Angus sat on Magnus's shoulder, his wand raised high. Killian and Carey and Noelle flanked the left side, weapons drawn, smiles broad. Avi stood beside Magnus, looking dapper in his Bureau uniform. Even Lucas was there, adjusting his glasses, staring out at the crowd. It was an incredible piece of art, and it loomed over Lucretia as she stepped behind the podium, adjusted her glasses, and began to speak.

“Thirty years ago today, we stood firm against the Hunger. The figures you see behind you are only a small part of the determination and fearlessness that was shown that day by all who fought. To look on the face of my friends, my companions, my _family_ is to look into a memory. Some of them are...gone.” She swallowed. “And some of us have grown very old. Some were children then, but are no longer. Some will see this statue grow older and older, and perhaps even outlive it. But this commemoration is merely for our benefit. To make sure we do not forget. I can rest, now, knowing that my family will live long into the future.”

And, not long after that day, she finally did.

 

* * *

 

It happened quietly, on a rather rainy afternoon. It must have been the _house_ , Taako figured, because when she left them, the place was full. Carey and Killian were celebrating their anniversary. There were flowers absolutely everywhere. Avi was telling a story in the kitchen while Lup stirred a sauce and laughed. Angus leaned against the counter and looked joyful. And then Kravitz stepped away.

Taako followed him, but he had gone. Lucretia was in her chair in the living room, a book in her lap. She'd been trying to force herself to read the last few weeks, but it gave her eye strain and made her tired. But it was as Taako remembered her, and so it felt right to find her that way, book resting in her hands, her head resting against the chair. Davenport came in from outside, scrubbing his boots on the mat and smiled. “ _Lucretia_ , your hydrangeas are just fine, so don't you worry--” He looked up, and Taako met his gaze “What's...”

Taako reached down and took her hand.

She was gone.

Davenport's face went pale. “ _Merle!_ Merle, get in here--”

“ _What_ , I'm about to open a bottle of--” He stopped, looking between them. The bottle almost slipped, but he caught it “Oh.”

Everyone seemed to sense it, gathering in the living room around Lucretia's blue chair. Magnus had made it. Just like Magnus had made everything in that house. Angus kneeled by her side and took the book from her hands.

She looked like she'd just...fallen asleep.

Angus smiled. “Goodbye,” he said quietly, and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

Carey choked and buried her face against Killian's chest.

One by one, each of them said their goodbyes, placing a single, lingering kiss on Lucretia's forehead or cheek. Merle lifted her hand, pressed his lips to her knuckles. “See ya, boss lady.”

Davenport gripped her other hand in his and held it to his cheek.

Taako reached out and touched the lines of her forehead. For the first time in so long, she looked completely at peace. With herself, with the world, with everything.

Taako smiled. “See ya, sis.”

 

* * *

 

_**merle** _

Taako had no idea how old Merle was. Dwarves just lived a really long time, that was something he knew. And Merle – Merle never slowed down. Never let anyone know if he was tired or ready to throw in the towel. He was an earl, he was a father, he had responsibilities. They were his, he argued, and he'd take care of them as long as he was alive. So Taako didn't get stressed about when Merle would finally go. He'd been able to handle Magnus, and said goodbye to Lucretia. When it was Merle's time, it could be argued that he certainly lived a _long_ life.

When Magnus was gone, they tried to spend more time together. They were busy men – Taako's school was wildly successful, and Bottlenose Cove was like a city on a hilltop, except that it was a small town by the beach. Really though, that was the only difference. Merle was happy. Taako liked to see him that way.

It was sort of an accident that Taako became rather close to Mavis. She was a fiercely brilliant girl, and grew into a brilliant woman. She had, like Angus, gone on to Lucas's school, but it was Angus who had said, casually one day, that Mavis was a rather accomplished duelist.

“Really brutal, sometimes. Always keeps a few tricks up her sleeves.”

“Oh yeah?” Taako set tea on the table. It struck him, then, that Angus was not _young_ anymore. Taako shoved this thought firmly from his mind. “She beat you then?”

Angus's cheeks flushed. “Actually...actually yes.”

“ _Ha!_ That's great.”

“I didn't bring it up so you could make _fun_ ,” Angus said hotly. “You said you needed new instructors. Mavis would be a really good candidate.” He sipped his tea. “She could beat you.”

“ _Lie._ ”

“She could.” Angus turned his attention to the newspaper on Taako's kitchen table. “Did you see they're putting a statue of Magnus and Julia in Raven's Roost next month?”

“I did. She _couldn't_ ,” Taako said, snatching the paper up.

Angus raised a brow. “Sounds like a challenge.”

“People don't _beat me_.”

“I did,” Angus said.

Taako frowned. “Oh. That's right.”

Angus leaned back in his chair and laughed until Taako swept his hand and knocked the chair over, sending him tumbling to the floor.

Taako scowled at him. “You're as bad as Magnus was.”

“I know.” Angus wiped a tear from his cheek, still laughing. “ _I know._ ”

 

* * *

 

Taako met with Mavis on the beach outside Merle's house. “Alright,” he said. “Show me whatcha got.”

“ _Kick his ass baby girl!_ ” Merle sat in a chair a little ways away.

Mavis gave him a thumbs up and turned back to Taako.

What happened next, Taako made Merle swear he wouldn't speak of to anyone, but – needless to say, Mavis got the job. And Taako – Taako had a connection to Merle he hadn't had before. It was interesting, working with his daughter, a woman who was so different from him, but...strangely similar. She did things that reminded Taako of Merle – she kept plants in her office, too many, some said. She shrugged a lot when she didn't know the answer to a question and didn't get worried about it. And above all else – she rejoiced in her teaching. She was the most loved teacher Taako ever hired, even if she could be difficult. She was fair, her students said.

Taako found himself in her office sometimes, trading spell books and tips. She was a voracious reader, and Taako acquired new books left and right from her.

One afternoon, Taako sat in the chair across from her and she said quietly, “I'm worried about my dad.”

“What's up?”

“Nothing, really, he's just...he just seems...he's slowed down. He gave all the adventuring club stuff to Mookie last year. I mean Mook's perfect for it, but I know he loved that stuff.”

“Everyone's gotta slow down eventually.”

Mavis shrugged. “It's just weird for my dad.”

“People do weird stuff when they get older. They stop...doing what they used to. It's weird, I know. Trust me.” He leaned forward. “But...it'll be okay. Everything...lives,” he said, and it made him smile to think of Kravitz. “And everything that lives, dies.”

Mavis nodded. “I guess you get it a little better than most.”

Taako shrugged. “Maybe,” he said, though he didn't really believe that much at all.

 

* * *

 

“ _You know I was thinkin'. Maybe we should go camping or something._ ”

“Ech.”

“ _I knew you'd say that, but I think it'd be good for us. We could go out, commune with nature. Like we used to do with Mags. Angus could come, and Dav wants to go._ ”

Taako shifted his stone of farspeech. “That's not a terrible idea. You and your old man boyfriend should just go camping by yourselves if that's what this is about though.”

“ _You can kit out your tent so it's like you're not really camping,_ ” Merle said loudly.

“There we go.” He leaned against the counter. “Hey, old man, you doin' okay?”

“ _Who me?_ ” Merle chuckled. “ _I'm great. Slowin' down a little, but that's not unusual._ ”

“Yeah, haven't been able to tell a difference myself.”

“ _Oh, ha ha. Very funny._ ” Merle yawned. “ _Listen, I'm gonna go to bed. Let me know about camping. And, hey, Taako?_ ”

“Yeah, my man, what's up?”

“ _I, uh, I don't say this enough, but. Thanks. For helpin' Mavis out._ ”

“Hey, she helped herself.”

“ _No, I know. But thanks anyway. It means a lot. And I know you hate havin' this talk, but I love you._ ”

“Yeah, yeah, get to bed gramps, wouldn't want you to sleep through your morning coffee and birdwatch.”

Merle chuckled. “ _Alright. Night, bud._ ”

“Night, Merle.”

 

* * *

 

Kravitz slid into bed early that next morning as Taako shifted awake, immediately drawing him close. “You're back.”

“I am.”

“S'good?”

“It's good.”

Taako opened one eye. Kravitz's expression was unreadable, but...calm, at least. Taako opened the other eye. “What's up?”

“It's, um. It's Merle.” He reached out to brush the hair from Taako's face. “He passed, last night.”

Taako blinked. “What?”

“It was sudden, it happened very quickly, he didn't suffer--”

“No. I _talked_ to Merle last night. We're going camping because he's a _mess_.”

“No, Taako. You're not going camping.”

“Don't _talk_ to me like...like _that._ ” Taako pushed away and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “That's not right. You're wrong, I'll find Lup, I'll ask--”

“I took him, Taako.” Kravitz sat up. Taako was halfway through pulling a shirt over his head. It fell down and Taako let his arms hang loosely by his side. “I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry.”

“...Did you know?”

Kravitz frowned. “What--”

“Did you know that last night was his time?”

“Taako, I can't--”

“ _Did you know?_ ”

Kravitz looked down. “I did. Yes.”

“Then why didn't you tell me?”

He looked up again. “Taako, I can't _do_ that. That's not right--”

“I knew when Magnus was going to die--”

“Because you and your family were standing _bedside_. You gave the man a deathbed. I never told you when his time was. I didn't tell you when it was Lucretia's time. You all just...you were there, it happened naturally, I couldn't do anything about that.” Kravitz stood. “Merle died last night in his home. He had a heart attack and he died, Taako.”

“Alone.”

“No. Davenport was there.”

Taako looked down. “ _I_ could have been there. I could have _been there for him._ Instead of fucking talking to him on that stupid rock and not...not telling him that...that--” He grit his teeth and groaned, running his hands through his hair, pulling.

_I could have said it back._

“Taako, it's natural to have regrets--”

“Shut up. Just...just _shut up._ ”

“Please don't yell at me. Please don't blame me for this, it wasn't my choice.”

“No, you just made the choice not to tell me that one of the most fucking important people in my life was going to die. You kept that to yourself, and I went to bed and Davenport had to be there _alone._ ”

Kravitz reached for him, but Taako pulled away. “These things happen. We are where we are in those moments--”

“I don't _want_ to hear your Raven Queen one-oh-one crap right now, okay? I don't _want_ you to make me feel better about it, I want you to...to--” Taako sunk to his knees. Why did it hurt like this? Why did he feel this way? Merle was old. He told himself it would have been natural. _He said he'd be cool._ But this – this wasn't fair. This was another thievery, someone he loved had done it again, someone he loved had _stolen_ this from him, he couldn't _trust_ anyone, he couldn't let anyone in, this was what he got for being vulnerable, for _being in love_ –

He made a terrible noise. Had he ever made that sound before?

_I know you hate havin' this talk, but...I love you._

“Taako...” Kravitz kneeled with him. “I'm sorry. I _am_ , really. But you have to understand. Knowledge of death is dangerous and _powerful._ I can't make that exception for _anyone._ You...you included.”

Taako looked up at him, at the rawness of his expression.

“I could have...I could have had one last...”

“I know. And if Magnus had lived one more day, it would have been the same way. But these are the days we're give, my love.” He pulled him close, and Taako went. He felt cool lips grow warm on his forehead. Cool hands grew warm holding him.

The reality of it all hit him, and not kindly.

“...They're all going to leave me. Aren't they?”

“Don't think of it like that. You'll never be alone. I'll be here, I'll _always_ be here--”

“Will you?” Taako's voice hitched upwards. He looked right at Kravitz. “Will you?” he asked again.

Kravitz nodded. “Yes. I will.”

 

* * *

 

The service on the beach was beautiful.

The duke came, everyone in Bottlenose Cove poured onto the beach and held their candles aloft. The breeze blew, but not a single light was extinguished. Taako wasn't sure what to do, or what to say.

He sat by the pyre with Mavis and Mookie. Lup and Barry sat with him, and his sister clutched his hand. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “It's a perfect night, isn't it?”

Taako looked at her, at her other hand clasped with Barry's. He nodded, and looked to the flames. “Yeah. It is.” And he felt that familiar chill settle by him, and Kravitz took his other hand, and the four of them were linked in the light of the fire. Taako felt a hand rest on his shoulder, and looked behind him to see Davenport smiling, even as his cheeks were wet.

The duke who came after Artemis had gotten well acquainted with Merle Highchurch, and liked to use Bottlenose Cove as that shining city on a hill. He showed the place off the traveling dignitaries, made them eat dinner with Merle on the beach and hear songs about Pan.

Taako swore when he looked up into the smoke curling high into the sky – he saw a faun. Maybe it was a trick of the light, maybe it was _something_ – but he had to believe that Merle's god was there for him that night. He was his Merle, after all.

Davenport stood, clutching a piece of paper in his trembling hands.

“I've known Merle Highchurch longer...longer than I've _not_ known him. And I was lucky enough that I knew him as...as the love of my life, which I honestly thought would end before his. I was selfish, I didn't want to _live_ without him. And now...now I have to.” He took a shaky breath. “I'm not alone, though.” He extended a hand, and Mavis took it. Mookie put an arm around him. “So it'll be hard, because I won't get to wake up and watch him burn the coffee, or read the small print in the paper to him. I won't get to help him find his glasses, which are usually, just, you know. On his head.” The crowd chuckled. “And you all. You won't be able to go to the most...most caring man I've ever known with your problems, and he won't be the host of his Candlenights potluck on the beach. He won't be the summer lifeguard anymore. But he'll still be... _our Merle._ We'll always have the memory of him, we'll always know exactly what his laugh sounded like and remember the colors of his ugly, _ugly_ shirts.

“We'll have Mavis and Mookie to remind us of him. We'll have this house and the legacy of Bottlenose Cove. And as long as I'm still here, I will tell his story. And Merle--” He looked up, into the stars. “We'll know where to look for you.”

“In all the trees,” Mookie said.

Mavis nodded. “And in all the places Pan touches.”

Davenport looked back to the crowd. “Because that's where you'll be.”

 

* * *

 

_**davenport** _

Of all of them, it had taken Magnus the longest to figure out Merle and Davenport were low-key an item back on the ship.

But after, it had taken Davenport the longest to come back to them, and when he did, Merle was standing on the beach, waiting with zero expectations.

Taako had been there that day. It was as weird to watch your two adopted dads make out as you'd think it was, but it'd been worth it to see them so happy.

It took Taako a few days to let go of everything after Merle died. Kravitz gave him space. He apologized for the way Taako felt, but not for what he did. Taako understood. He just...needed to be angry.

Davenport set him straight.

“Son, you have yourself a wonderful relationship. A _good man_ who loves you. Listen, I'd...I'd have loved to have known as much as anyone else, but, Taako--” Taako looked at him. “It's dangerous, he's right. To know when a person's gonna go? That's too much power.”

“I wasn't gonna do something _untoward._ It's not like I was gonna stop it from happening--” He froze. Maybe not the best move to tell Davenport, of all people, that he would have let Merle die. “Sorry.”

“Merle wouldn't have wanted you to do that. You know how he felt about fate. About life and death.” Davenport was making tea, and he finally set a cup in on the table and reached out to take Taako's hand. “I _miss him_ ,” he said. “I miss him and it hurts, but I'm going to get better, Taako. Don't hold what happened to Merle against Kravitz. You'll only regret it.”

 

* * *

 

Taako didn't want anymore regrets. He wanted to be as happy as Davenport seemed to be, standing on the edge of the sea, his feet in the water, a plain urn in his hands.

_I'm going back to sea. I'm going to spread his ashes here, and then on the ocean. I'm going to take him with me one more time._

Kravitz opened the door and Taako ran at him, sweeping him up and kissing his face. Kravtiz grinned and lifted him, turning and pressing him flush against the wall.

“Have you forgiven me?”

“A thousand times,” Taako gasped, and kissed him again and again.

 

* * *

 

He went to the beach the day Davenport left. Mavis and Mookie clutched him close, saying their goodbyes. Lup and Barry came to send him off, one last time.

“You keep yourself out of trouble,” Lup said firmly. “I don't want to get the call that I gotta come and collect my captain because he got himself into a fight with a giant squid.”

“The squids are very nice,” Davenport said.

“ _Wait_ , you met a giant squid and _didn't tell me--_ ”

“She means have a nice trip,” Barry said.

“I do _not_ mean that, Barold Bluejeans. I mean that I was deprived of a _giant squid story_ \--”

Davenport pulled her in and kissed her cheek. “I'll be back soon.”

Lup huffed. “You better.”

Davenport finally turned to Taako, who kneeled down to hug him. “I'll be okay.”

“I know you will, Cap. I'm not worried at all.”

“Listen if I don't make it back--”

Taako groaned. “Do we have to do this?”

“Yes. We do.” Davenport reached into his pocket and pulled out a paper. “This is my will. As the only member of our crew remaining who is not an _agent of death_ , I am asking you to carry this out. Don't read it,” he added. “Unless I die.”

“You won't die.”

“Well, in case I do.”

Taako sighed. “Alright, _alright._ I'll do your weird morbid bidding.” He stood. “You do what Lup says, okay? Be careful, and stay outta trouble.”

“I make no promises.”

Taako shook his head as Davenport headed up the ramp. It felt like he should say something, something that, maybe, he'd lost the chance to say. Before he could change his mind, Taako went to the end of the ramp and called out, “ _Davenport!_ ”

“What?”

“I, uh.” Taako cleared his throat. “I love you,” he said quickly.

Davenport's face softened. “I love you, too, Taako.”

 

* * *

 

He didn't die. Not then. But it was Lup who came to tell him, a few months after Davenport returned from sea. Barry had taken him to the other side, and he'd been at peace.

“I think he was ready,” she said.

“Yeah, he seemed that way.” Taako stood from the table and went to one of the drawers in the kitchen, opening it and rummaging for a moment before he pulled out the paper Davenport had given to him. “He wanted me to read this when he died.” And he went back to the table, sat across from his sister, and unfolded the note.

_Merle left me the house, so I'm leaving it to Mavis and Mookie. Tell Mook I think he'll make a great earl, even better than the first one._

_My ship is yours, Lup. I know you're a fancy reaper now, but you should get out on the water, have some fun. Take Barry sailing._

_My books are for Angus, from one old man to another._

_And for Taako – in the bedroom is a large cedar chest. Everything in it is yours._

_I want my ashes scattered at sea. No need for theatrics._

_I'm ready._

 

* * *

 

In the end, they had a small ceremony on the boat, after their captain had been cremated. Lup took to sailing easily, like she did most things, and she took them out for a few days. Taako stood at the bow of the ship and upturned the urn they'd brought with them, watching the ashes blow in the wind and across the waves.

“Bye, Cap'nport,” Lup said. She reached down and took Taako's hand, resting her head on his shoulder. “It's just the three of us now. Us and Ango.”

Taako thought about Angus – _from one old man to another_ – and, as he often did, pushed _that thought_ from his mind.

“We're doing alright,” Taako said. “Don't you think?”

“Oh, for sure. We're _killin'_ it.” Lup cackled. “Barry, babe, did you hear that?”

“I sure did.”

“You're both disgusting,” Taako said, and pushed her away.

“You love me.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I guess that's my lot in life or whatever. Can we go home now? I'm good at fresh air for the year.”

“Sure thing, doofus.” She kissed his cheek and went to sail them back home.

 

* * *

 

_**angus** _

With Angus, it seemed to happen slowly, and then – all at once.

There didn't seem to be any days in between that Taako saw a gradual change. He'd certainly noted a few times that Angus was getting older, that he looked older and sounded older and _acted_ older. But there came a day when Taako walked up the hill to Magnus's old house and found Angus sitting in Magnus's old chair on the porch –

And he was an old man.

It had to come sometime, he knew this. But the knowledge of Angus's human heritage and the obvious signs that he was aging did nothing to stave off the sudden surprise Taako felt when he was suddenly face to face with a boy who was not a boy anymore, but a rather pleasant, well-read gentleman. One who made coffee whenever Taako came to visit, and traded barbs with him across the table. One who teased him about spells and hats, and still used that damn _book_ to catch Taako in a tall tale. Just for fun.

It was really only a matter of time. Avi was gone – passed the year before Merle. Carey and Killian had gone as well, within _days_ of one another. “Couldn't stand to be away from each other,” Kravitz said. Eventually, it was just Taako and Angus, and even that was beginning to wane.

Taako felt himself grow desperate, and he found himself spending entire days with him, even as Kravitz reminded him there was no sure way to know when Angus's time would come.

“Don't...don't talk about him like that.”

Kravitz sighed. “He's not a little boy anymore, Taako. He's nearly a _hundred._ That he's a human and he's live this long is, honestly a miracle. They don't have the most impressive track records.”

“No, I know. It's just...weird to think of him that way.”

“...He's not a child anymore, my love.” Kravitz reached out and cupped Taako's cheek, stroking a thumb over his brow. “Angus grew up, and now he's grown old. I told you--”

“Everything lives, and everything that lives, dies. I get it, I do. I just...I'm not ready for this to...be the last goodbye.”

“Oh, Taako.” Kravitz pulled him in. “Are you being sentimental?” he teased.

“Very. Ango's gonna...gonna _die._ Feels wrong.”

“I'm sure it does. But you know. You _know_ where he's going.”

Taako nodded. “Sure.”

“And he'll be with his family.”

“Yep.”

“And pretty soon--”

“Like a couple hundred more years, my dude. That's a long time. Not that I'm ready to punch my ticket early,” he said quickly. “Your boss can't hear me, right?”

“Who knows what she can hear?”

“Alright, you're both ominous and gothic, I get it.” Taako rolled his eyes. “Whatever, let's drop this. Angus is here right now, so I'll just...enjoy that.”

Kravitz nodded. “Fair enough.”

 

* * *

 

It felt too close to losing Magnus, too much like his last days, but eventually Angus could hardly make it out of bed. Taako didn't want to move him from the house he'd grown up in, from the place where he'd made a childhood for himself, finally, so he all but moved in to take care of him. It seemed like the right thing to do.

The house was full of memories, though, once Taako became immersed in it. Magnus's room was largely untouched, which meant it was also largely _undusted._ Taako didn't want just anyone going in and doing it, so he took care of it himself with a few cleaning spells.

The closet had Magnus's old gear in it – the clothes he'd worn in Refuge, his old IPRE jacket Lucretia had saved. Magnus had died almost sixty years ago, but Taako remembered that lug every single day. Every time he walked past the duck Magnus had carved for him, or their last photo together before everyone's age started to show. Now he was living with all of it, and those first days were sometimes overwhelming.

Lucretia's room was much the same. Her journals were chronicles of their time together on the Starblaster, and it made Taako _ache_ in a way that was all too familiar. He closed those. Cleaned her room. Shut the door. Some things just weren't worth reliving.

Her chair, though, became his favorite. It was a rich blue and a stack of books was always on the endtable, right next to it. Taako and Angus would stay in on cooler nights and read, citing interesting passages to one another. Sometimes they traded stories. Most nights Angus dosed off, and Taako wound up carrying him to bed, the same way he'd seen Magnus do until the kid was almost twenty. And even then, he'd work himself to the bone, burn the midnight oil, and if Magnus found him asleep on the couch, he'd pick him up and carry him right to bed.

_He's a grown man, Magnus._

_Then he'll understand the importance of a proper night's sleep, won't he?_

Taako laid him down, drawing the covers up to his chin. He caught sight of a pair of twin wedding rings, resting in their place on the chain around Angus's neck, and he smiled.

Some things weren't worth reliving, but some were certainly worth saving.

 

* * *

 

“Will you be here,” Angus asked, “when it's time for me to go?”

“I will.”

“Good.” He looked over at Taako and took his hand. “I want to see your face when I do, so I can tell everyone that you look amazing when I get to the other side.”

Taako laughed, giving Angus's hand a squeeze. “You got me all figured out, don't you kiddo?”

“I'm old now, sir.”

“Nah. You're just not brand new anymore.”

Angus smiled. “Will you miss me?”

“Nope.”

“Bullshit.”

Taako smiled. “Yeah, Ango. I'm gonna miss your goofy face and your stupid hats and all your detecting and your bad, bad cookies.”

“I tried.”

“Man, you really did.”

God, he promised he'd _be cool._

“Hey, Taako?”

“Angus, I can't do anymore, like, devastating stuff today. Let's save some for tomorrow.”

Angus nodded. “Okay. I just...I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I have to leave you. I wish I didn't have to go.”

Taako nodded. “I know.”

“Is it...is it okay if I'm scared? Magnus didn't seem scared.”

“Hey. Magnus was scared of lots of stuff. I knew that guy for forever, okay? He got scared loads of times. It is totally okay and it is _brave_ to be scared of stuff, you hear me? You're...you're a _brave_ kid.” Angus laughed. “Just let me have that, okay? It's hard.”

“I know.”

“You be scared. But just...just know. Kravitz is going to take really good care of you. He's going to make sure you get to where you're going and you'll be totally safe. And you know what?”

“What?”

“I bet Mags'll be there waiting for you.”

“You think so?”

Taako nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

Angus's eyes closed, and Taako took careful stock of the seconds that followed. Then: “I'll be waiting for you, you know. Whenever your time comes.” Angus squeezed his hand. “We all will.”

“Yeah.” Taako smiled. “I believe it.”

 

* * *

 

In the end, Taako sat by his bedside, and read one last _Caleb Cleveland_ novel as Angus McDonald took his last breath. The room was still, and Taako felt his loneliness grow sharper and sharper, until –

“Hey bro.” Lup stepped in close, leaning down to wrap her arms around him. “I heard.”

“He's gone.”

“I know.” She kissed his cheek. “I know, I'm sorry.”

“It's okay.” Taako didn't feel ashamed to cry anymore. Especially not in front of Lup. “It's all okay.” He turned and let her reach out to take his face in her hands. “I think I'm starting to feel old.”

“Well, yeah, you're like four hundred.”

Taako laughed. “Yeah, I know.” He closed his eyes. “I need to take care of things.”

“You do.”

Taako looked back at Angus. Peaceful, like he deserved to be.

“Let everyone say goodbye.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Ango. Sorry it's been a while.” Taako settled in the grass next to the headstone, brushing leaves from the top of it. “I brought sunflowers. Figured you'd like this. Lup's gonna come next time, she and Barry had a big job to do together. I came by the check on the house. Been thinking about moving here. Me and Krav have that little place in the city, but it'd be nice to slow down out here. Get away from the hustle.

“Plus, you know, I'm finally gettin' old. I sound like Merle, don't I?

“I hope you're okay. Miss you, here. Miss everyone, really. I keep busy. And I'm not alone, you know. It's just sort of different when you spend all your time with reapers. You just get like, super aware of your own eventual mortality. But I'm not unhappy. Don't want you to think that, kiddo.” He glanced up at the sky.

“Listen, you...you say hi to Magnus for me, okay? And Merle and Dav. Lucretia, too. Everyone you can find over there, you tell 'em I still look great, alright? Gotta maintain a reputation.” He stood. “I'll come by more often. 'Specially if we move into the house. I think if I'm gonna go, I wanna go here.” Taako looked toward the house on the hill and smiled. “Good memories here, even if I had to say goodbye so many times. I'll do it one more time, I think, if it means I get to see my family again.”

Taako smiled.

“I think I'm ready.”

 

* * *

 

_**taako** _

Kravitz was calling his name, but Taako didn't answer. He'd find him eventually. Right now he was doing one of his favorite things one last time. Kravitz wouldn't tell him when his number was up, but Taako could finally feel it. The last day was coming soon.

“There you are.” Kravitz stepped into the study that had functioned as Taako's office until he left the school a few months ago. “Are you digging into the chest again?” Taako nodded. Kravitz eased himself down onto the floor. “These are beautiful sketches.”

“Lucretia had a real talent. You know she could write with both hands at once?”

“That's impressive.” Taako had to give him credit. He certainly sounded like a man who'd never heard these stories before.

But he had. A hundred times.

“She'd sit there for hours, not tell anyone what she was doing. Then we'd find these drawings. Like I can just...I _remember_ that kitchen. So well.”

“The one on the ship?”

Taako nodded. “I really fell in love with food then. That dish I had, that amazing dish...” He trailed off, turning the page of the book and finding a sketch of Merle and Davenport. “She always saw things we didn't, way before we did.”

“I like this one of Magnus.”

“Oh yeah, that's after he picked a fight with a robot. It was great.” Taako smiled. “Couldn't keep his hands to himself.”

“This one of Barry and Lup is really nice, too.”

Taako nodded. “Yeah...yeah they really found something special.”

Kravitz leaned in and kissed his temple. “You're my something special.”

“ _Yech._ ”

“Say what you will.” Kravitz looked around. “It was really good of Davenport to leave you with all this.”

“Well I'm the only one left to remember.”

“Everyone knows,” Kravitz said.

“Yeah, but I was there. It was different, being there.”

“I'm sure it was. Will you come down for dinner soon? Lup made something.”

“Sure. In a minute.” Kravitz nodded and stood, bending down for one last kiss. “I'll see you downstairs.”

Taako watched him go, and considered his luck.

He'd seen everyone leave, and now, it was his time to say goodbye. Carefully, he began to stow away the drawings and the journals, the handful of photographs. As he leaned over the edge of the chest, the chain holding the rings slipped out from his shirt, making a soft noise against the wood. He smiled.

“I know,” Taako said quietly. “Soon.”

 

* * *

 

There had eventually come a day when Taako looked at his sister and realized – he had started to age. His hair had begun to grey at some point, but eventually he let it all go. The silver was sophisticated, and it looked great with the aesthetic he had adopted in old age, which Barry liked to call his _college dean_ look. Even after stepping down, he maintained his appearance with the same attention to detail as he'd done in his youth.

Lup had come over and made a wonderful dinner. She sat by him as the four of them ate together, trading reaper stories and teasing one another through the night. Taako always went to bed first, but Kravitz followed soon after.

They woke early to sit on the porch and drink tea or coffee together. Sometimes Taako was alone. Most days though, he was with Lup.

The years they'd lost were hard to make up for, but they'd done their best. Lup tried to put her reaper duties on hold as best she could. If her brother was going to go, she said, then she was going to be with him every second she could.

“And I'm going to take you. I know Kravitz is the love of your flippin' life or whatever, but I'm your sister, dammit.”

“I want you to.”

“He can come visit whenever he wants. He can smooch your face now any time he feels like it. And probably even after, too. I don't know how the soul thing works.”

Taako sighed. “I want it to be you, dingus. Don't stress it.”

And Lup turned to him and said quietly, “I don't want to have to do it at all.”

“Well. We can't all get sick reaper deals like you and Barold.” She just stared. “I have to,” he said. “I can't stay.”

“If I talked to her, maybe she could--”

“Lup.”

She grasped his hand. “I'm not ready.”

“You have to be.”

She shook her head. “No. If I want it bad enough, if I _wish_ \--”

“ _No._ ”

“God, you always have to try and be right when we argue.”

“This isn't an argument,” he said. “Everything lives, Lup--”

“And everything that lives, dies, I've given the speech, I know the drill.” She took a shaky breath. “I just...can't picture this world without you in it. Not being with you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm not...I don't want to do it again.”

“It's different this time.”

“How?”

Taako gripped her hand. “Because this time it's supposed to happen.”

 

* * *

 

He knew it was coming. He knew it would be soon.

Kravitz couldn't keep this particular secret. It was all over his face. They lay next to one another in bed, touching carefully, whispering to one another.

“Is this you saying goodbye?” Taako asked.

“I don't know.”

“It's okay if it is. If laying in bed with you is the last thing I do, then that's alright.”

“Look at you, extra sappy in your old age.”

Taako grinned. “I've made peace with it.”

Kravitz pressed their foreheads together. “I will _miss_ this.”

“I know.”

“I'll miss you. I'll miss you like crazy.” Taako nodded. “But I'm going to see you. As often as I can.”

“You better.”

“And I'll make sure you're safe. I've done it for everyone else, but when it's time—”

“I know.”

Kravitz's voice trembled. “And there won't ever be anyone else. There will _never_ be a soul I love the way I've loved yours.”

“Almost five hundred years.”

“I never thought... _I never_ \--”

“Kiss me? Please--” Kravtiz held him close, pressed his lips to every part of Taako he could manage. “Me either,” he said. “I couldn't imagine--”

“I know.”

“Every part of me was alone--”

“So was I.”

Taako reached out and held Kravitz's face in his hands. “You helped me _belong._ My family helped, but loving you was _liberating_.”

“Listen to you.”

“I fucking mean it.” Taako's voice broke. “ _I fucking mean it._ ”

“I love you. Taako, I _love_ you--”

Taako nodded. Their kisses grew more frantic, he felt his soul beginning to unspool. “I know. I love you, I love you, too.”

“I've never wished it, I've never thought it, but I--” Kravitz gripped him tight. “ _I don't want you to go._ ”

“Can't believe I'm the one telling you that I gotta. I _gots_ to, babe.”

“I know. I love you. _I know._ ”

And Taako let that be the last thing he heard, before his sister's cool hand slipped into his own, and Taako left this world for the last time.

 

* * *

 

“Everyone's waiting.”

“Everyone?”

Lup nodded. “Everyone. You look great, by the way.”

“Good to know.” Taako let her pull him along, through the winding world of the ethereal plane. “This is home.”

Taako heard her say it – but he _felt_ it as another soul collided with him, sending him reeling.

“ _Magnus!_ ”

They rolled and Taako looked up at a face he hadn't seen in _centuries_.

“You made it!”

“I did.”

“Nice one, bud.” Magnus stood and took his hand, pulling him up. “ _Merle! Merle, he's here!_ ”

“Hey, hey!” Merle waved and came running over. After that it was one soul after another, Lucretia embracing him, Avi lifting him up, Johann giving him a half-hearted hand lift. Carey and Killian, Davenport –

Angus pushed through the crowd and threw his arms around him.

“Hey, kiddo.”

He looked like the young man he'd finally grown into, but he said, _so earnestly_ , “Hello, sir,” and Taako was back on that training, looking at a lonely little boy for the first time.

(Not anymore.

No one was lonely anymore.)

Lup and Barry embraced him, and Barry said gently, “We're happy for you.”

Lup nodded. “We're so _happy_ for you.”

“Unbelievably happy for you,” Kravitz said, and Taako turned toward his voice. “I know what I said, before--”

Taako threw himself at him, holding him tight. “I love you, too.”

“That's all that matters.”

Taako pulled back and nodded. “Yeah, that's all that matters.”

He took Kravitz by the hand, and they walked together, toward their family, and Taako knew –

he'd said his last goodbye.

And that was just fine by him.

 

* * *

 

 _And I'll stay the same and stand here on my own_  
_Til everything is dead and born and grown_

 

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics from "dead and born and grown" by the staves.
> 
> update: there is more are by janmeart [here](http://janmenart.tumblr.com/post/166313000507/ill-always-be-here-will-you-he-said) that reduced me to tears.


End file.
